


The Hamilgleeibal Candidates in Zimbabwe

by LordZimbo



Category: Glee, Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF, Hannibal (TV), Political RPF - US 21st c., The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Africa, Bondage, Crack, Crack Crossover, Multi, Not Beta Read, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, Tentacles, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordZimbo/pseuds/LordZimbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mix of fandoms trip to the foreign nation of Zimbabwe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for messing up the first time

May 3rd, 2016  
Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking we would like to welcome you onboard this NeinNeinJa flight to Zimbabwe; flight duration is around 9 hours and we are expecting a fairly smooth flight today. Once again we thank you for choosing to fly with us today and we hope you enjoy your flight.

The plane is fairly empty. John Kasich and Martin  O'Malley are sitting in the front row, holding hands. They have gotten far too old to make the treacherous journey down the long aisle, so they settled for what was simplest. This trip was just a neat little getaway for their 30th anniversary together.

Bernie Sanders is sitting several rows behind the two and watches with envy. He turns to his abusive boyfriend, Donald Trump and asks "Why can't we be like that?" To which Donald replies by stomping on his foot. Bernie and Donald may not have the healthiest relationship, but it's a relationship nonetheless and they are going to make it work. They are here to scope out their other competitors in the race for the presidency.

Across from them are Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson who are giggling under a blanket. It's just a romantic honeymoon for the couple and they are going to enjoy every minute of it. Donald glares at them in disgust before building a wall down the aisle to block the view.

Jeb Bush and Peggy Schuyler are sitting right behind Bernie and Donald. They had reserved 3 of the surrounding seats for Jeb's turtles. Peggy tells Jeb she loves the turtles and thinks him and his little friends are adorable even though on the inside she hates turtles. She hates everything about Jeb actually. She was only using him to get to his older brother, George. Jeb had a grimy face, greasy hair, and a chubby belly, but none of those can compare to his turtles. They're everywhere and Peggy cannot escape them. In his pockets, in his shoes, and in his pants, they drive her nuts. But here they were, going to Zimbabwe to film turtle porn.

Several rows back sitting on the right side of the plane are Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. Inside Ted's carry on bag were some interesting looking tools and some tentacles. This is just going to be a fun adventure for the bros and nothing more. They need to take a break from politics and spend some guy time bonding with each other. No annoying children or angry wives; just two bros together in Africa.

Lin Manuel Miranda sits on the inside seat with Jonathan Groff on his lap cuddling. Lin runs his hands through Groffsauce's hair as they looked into each other's eyes. Being that they were on a plane with people all around this was about as much as they could do for now. Their trip to Zimbabwe was to fuck. Lowkey fucking. No one from the cast could know that they were a thing besides Eliza and Peggy, and they swore that they wouldn't tell anyone. This was their private escape to be themselves, by themselves.

All the way in the back of the plane sit Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. Will with his quiet ways refused to sit anywhere else, so Hannibal compliantly agreed. Smuggled inside Will's carry on bag are Winston and Buster, whom he can't live without. This trip is to take a break from all the murdering and to just relax. They are going to search for more dogs to add to their family and experiment with bondage.


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hamilgleeibal Candidates arrive in Zimbabwe and begin their journey.

9 hours later the plane was landing in Harare. All of the passengers filed out in a line one behind the other except for Donald. "Move it, bimbo!" He yelled aggressively, shoving Kurt back into his seat. Kurt fell on top of Blaine and the two hid in their seats until they were sure everyone had gotten off the plane. Donald had raced in front of everyone, dragging Bernie close behind, just to get off first.

A slick black limo waited outside of the airport exit. A blonde man was stepping out and holding a sign listing the names of whom he was to be driving. The names listed were John Kasich & Martin O'Malley, Donald Trump & Bernie Sanders, Kurt Hummel & Blaine Anderson, Jeb Bush & Peggy Schuyler, Lin Manuel Miranda & Jonathan Groff, Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio, and at the bottom of the sign, Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter. Donald approached the man first and sneered at him in disgust. Soon everyone gathered around the man and he began to introduce himself. "Hello my name's African Boyfriend and I'll be your tour guide for this Zimbabwean vacation!" His smile was warm and genuine which made Jeb feel at ease in his presence. African Boyfriend opened the door to the luxurious limo and Marco and Ted gasped. "It's gorgeous!" Marco exclaimed reaching his normal sized hands onto the smooth leather seat. African Boyfriend laughed "No no, silly! This if for your luggage!" Everyone scratched their head in confusion. African Boyfriend grabbed everyone's bag and threw them inside one at a time until he had reached Will. "Sir, I'm going to need your bags."  
"No! I need to keep these!" Will began tearing up as he clutched onto the bags. Donald was in a hurry and getting quite feisty, so he tore the bags out of Will's arms and threw them into the vehicle. Loud whimpers and a snap came out of the bag as it hit the other luggage. Jeb's turtles quickly scrambled out of his bag and clung to his soft flabby body before African Boyfriend slammed the door shut.

Bernie hobbled over to the guide and held onto Donald's arm. "So where's we sitting?" He asked. African Boyfriend signaled for everyone to follow and led them to the back of the limo. Tied to the back was a rope connecting to a wooden board. "All you got to do is just hold on tight for a few and we'll be there in no time!" African Boyfriend said. Everyone was horrified. The board was 3x9 feet, composed of splintering wood, and only attached to the limo by an old shredded rope. Everyone piled on top of each other side by side all around the plank. Lin had his arm wrapped around Groffsauce, nuzzling his head into his neck. Peggy was shoving poor Jeb to the side to make more room for herself. Kurt and Blaine had already gotten comfortable and resumed their make out session. Angered by the immaturity of Kurt and Blaine, Donald is kicking Bernie's shin. Hannibal begins chomping on Will's arm. Suddenly a tent forms in Will's pants and his body levitates above the ground. Marco is trying to grip onto the board but the tentacles coming from Ted's pockets keep tickling him. He begins to sweat and he can no longer hold his grip. Ted's tentacles wrap around Marco's body and held him safely down onto the board. John and Martin don't even notice the others and just held tightly onto the board facing one another. The old wooden board was crammed and uncomfortable, but none of them had any other choice. The limo's engine began to spur and there they went, onto their journey in Zimbabwe.

3 hours into the rough drive and the limo began to slow down. Martin rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and looked up. The sun was just beginning to set, it must've been around 5pm. He stared off, dazed, before noticing several African men stepping towards the limo. He tried to shake John awake but he just began drooling all over the wood. The African men came closer and they were surrounding the wood board. African Boyfriend didn't come out of the limo and it didn't look like the Africans were interested in him. Martin counted 26 Africans huddled around them in a circle. They had colored paint all over their bodies and were holding sharpened stone staffs. At first there was just a low hum but then it grew louder and the tribal Africans were violently chanting. Everyone jumped up from the plank, besides John who was still fast asleep. Hannibal unhinged his jaw from Will's arm; leaving a red imprint of his teeth in the flesh. Will shook his arm awake and began to cry because he remembered he missed his dogs. Lin held Groffsauce close to his chest as the tribal men were getting nearer. Groffsauce could hear the pounding of Lin's heartbeat as he was being held in Lin's arms. Peggy looked around and began to panic. Quickly she grabbed innocent Jeb and shoved him toward the men. "Take him! Take him!" She cried. The chanting stopped and the air became stiff. Poor Jeb turned his head frantically searching for something or someone to save him. No one moved a muscle. The tribal Africans turned to one another for a moment before nodding their heads in approval. Two large tribal men came forward and grabbed Jeb's legs. His turtles stuck to him like glue and crawled into his clothes to hide. "Please help." He pleaded as he was pulled into the blackness of the night.


	3. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hamigleeibal candidates first night in Zimbabwe

CHAPTER 3 PART 1  
THE FIRST NIGHT

It must've been around 8 o'clock as they pulled into the compound. There were no lights except for a single torch at the entrance. Almost everyone had forgotten about Jeb or they were just too tired to care. It was dark but they could make out a big circular straw structure and a small but nicer house across the compound. The limo pulled up in front of the straw hut and African Boyfriend got out. He opened the limo door and all of their luggage poured out like a landslide. Everyone released the board and rolled onto the warm ground exhausted. "Up, up, up! Everyone get up and get your luggage!" John fell asleep during the 10 seconds that he had released the board, so Martin had to carry both of their suitcases into the shack. Then he had to go back and pick up his lovely husband and carry him into the shack. He unclothed him and laid him down onto the thatch bed nearest to the thin wood door. The shack had 10 thatch beds (for 13 people not including Jeb) that run all along the curved wall and nothing else. It was very tight. African Boyfriend nudged them all in and everyone picked their beds next to their respective mates  
; some had to share. Will opened his bags and found his dogs inside. His face lit up and he lifted Buster and Winston onto his lap; only to realize they were not breathing. His eyes began to water and he flopped himself onto his bed, fully clothed, and cried himself to sleep. Donald was disgusted. "Excuse me, what is this? What do you think this is? Excuse me!" He dropped his luggage down beside his bed and turned to face African Boyfriend. "Oh, this is where you'll all be staying! Enjoy!" African Boyfriend exclaimed quickly as he ran out of the hut and slammed the door, locking it. 

Marco  
Did he just lock us in? What is this? This whole thing is shady. I noticed that the others were falling asleep and figured it would be best that I also get some shut-eye. I shyly asked the others to turn their backs to me as I got changed into my favorite night gown. It was a button up shirt with blue and white vertical stripes and matching pants. I remembered to sleep barefoot because socks made me overheat. I took a water bottle out of my bag and set it down beside me, knowing that I'd soon be thirsty. This whole thing was strange. And why wasn't there a dressing room? I could never live here. I glanced to my side and saw Ted undressing. He didn't say not to watch and he didn't seem to notice me either so I guess it was okay. I don't know why I was even watching him, but I couldn't pull my gaze away. Ted crawled onto the straw in only his white underwear and white ankle socks. That's pretty weird but whatever. All I had was a thin straw blanket so I pulled it over my body and tried to fall asleep, but it was just too uncomfortable. I stared up into the nothingness of the ceiling above. This was going to be a long night.

Groffsauce  
We were a few beds short so I had to share with Lin, which I didn't mind. Lin slept in a cute red onesie while all I had were my King George boxer briefs. He was warm against my cool body and I fell asleep comfortably and quick thinking about how fun this trip will be for us.

Hannibal  
I couldn't sleep. This was terribly boring. I sat up looking around at the others that were all fast asleep. I could kill anyone of them easily. No,I can't, that's the exact reason we came here, to stop murdering people for a bit. My stomach began growling and I knew I had to find something to eat, but we were all locked in. I reached my arm over Will's body and grabbed my bag. Slowly opening it and digging through all of our ropes and knives until I found a sharp machete at the bottom. I held it crawling behind my bed to begin carefully slicing it through the straw wall. I carved a tiny hole and crawled through it. The scent of fresh air smelled nice.

Lin  
There is something slimy brushing against my arm. I turn towards Groff but he's fast asleep. The slimy object wrapped around my ankles and began pulling me away. I tried to scream but whatever it was was covering my mouth. Before I knew it I was laying on the dirt outside. I heard the buzzing of mosquitos and then heavy footsteps. "Say hello to my little Buster, Lin." A rodent-like voice said. I was about to reply when I was whacked with the dead weight of Buster, Will's dog. Shrieking I shielded myself with my hands. The limp body kept hitting into my skin and then I felt one final pain against my head and the world faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof read this and I'm to lazy to write


	4. The night goes on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gasp, plot twist???, things happen, poor doggo, love, hate, battle of ultimate destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is boring, random bold words

Little did the "rodent" know he was being watched. Only a few yards away was Hannibal and he had just witnessed the whole thing. He watched in disgust as **TED CRUZ** beat Lin to death mercilessly with **BUSTER'S** corpse. He gripped his machete tighter, no one messes with his Will. Hannibal is a smart man and he knew he couldn't give in to his impulse. He would have to wait for the right time. As he thought to himself he noticed something coming out of Ted's pockets. His eyes squinted, but it was still hard to make out what it was in the darkness. In a snap Ted's body faced towards Hannibal and the things seeping from his pockets jolted at Hannibal and wrapped around his torso. He was pulled right in front of Ted, their faces almost touching. He realized that they were **tentacles** wrapped around him. The stench of Ted's breath overwhelmed Hannibal's senses and he could hardly concentrate.

"I know you saw..." The rodent-like voice hissed.

Hannibal looked to the side to try to avoid his steamy breath, which made the tentacles tighten more.

"Why did you use Buster?"

Ted ignored the question and shoved his mouth **dangerously** close to Hannibal's ear. He breathed heavily and saliva dripped from his mouth onto Hannibal's shoulder, needless to say, Hannibal was revolted. Suddenly an 'oof' was heard and the air became silent. In an instant Ted and his tentacles were gone along with Lin's body, all that remained was poor innocent Buster. Hannibal kneeled down to his body and ran his hand along the length of it.

"Who out dere?" Said a voice in the distance.

Hannibal gave no response.

"I say who dere???" The voice was shaky and he could hear whoever it was slowly hobbling over. He looked up and saw old Bernie Sanders. **He** shook his head and smirked to himself.

"Dr. Lecter, is that yous?"

"Yes."

"Ain't that one o'will's pups"

"Was. He's dead now." Hannibal thought about whether he should tell Bernie about Ted Cruz, but decided it would be more fun not to. To see what he would do. He looked up at the moon.

"It's 3 in the morning, Bernie, go back to bed."

"I no go nowhere until you tell me what is goin on out here."

Hannibal got up and stepped closer. He couldn't **help** it..He looked down at the frail old man and sighed before snapping his neck.

Morning 6 am

"Alright up and at em' up and at em'!" AB came in clapping his hands. "Up up, we've got a bright day ahead of us!" He was wearing nothing but a fake **Canadian** leaf duct taped in front of his ding dong.

Donald sat up and looked around frantically.

"WHERE'S MY BERNIE?"

"I don't know where your Bernie is, but what do know is that we have lots to do today!"

"WHERES LIN???" Groff shrieked.

He bolted out of his bed with tears streaming from his eyes.

"AB WHAT THE **HECKIN** DID YOU DO TO OUR BOYFRIENDS???"

He grabbed AB's shoulders and shook him violently back and forth. AB giggled.

"I dunno friendo" he shrugged and lightly pushed Groff off of him. He stomped over to Kurt and Blaine and threw a foot at Blaine's head.

"Yo, wtf man?? IS THIS A HUMAN FOOT??"

Kurt screamed and clung **onto** Blaine.

"I found it on my walk here." AB replied nonchalantly.

Donald walked over and snatched the foot from Blaine.

"This is Bernie's foot!"

As heck broke lose among AB, Donald, Groff, Kurt, and Blaine, John and Martin were just waking up. They starred into each other's eyes for a few moments; not even aware of the fight going on in the shack.

"You're beautiful, J-"

Martin realized that John had fallen back asleep and was snoring already. He smiled and as he got up to get ready and **fucked** John to sleep.

JEB

Jeb was tied to a tree as the tribal Africans chanted around him.

 **HOO** HA HOO _HA_ HOO **HA** HOO HA **WHO** _IS_ HA

Then they formed a line in front of Jeb. One by one they slowly walked up to him and looked him in the eyes. Then they raised their right hand and stuck their pinky forward. They would boop Jeb's nose and scurry on to the back of the line. This went on for a few hours.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so done with this


	5. ZIMBO TRIP BREAK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FANART I MADE FOR MYSELF

 


End file.
